The rings around my eyes feel like they may soon become permanent. My head never stops thinking no matter how hard I try to stop it and when it finally does the nightmares keep me awake for the rest of the night. I'm not capable of sleeping alone without the comfort of someone else next to me. I absolutely hate the feeling of being alone and hopeless. I've resorted to self-medicating so that I can keep myself alive in at least one way.

In order to live, you can't be afraid to die, and right now I'm not afraid to die for the first time in my life.